Opportunity Cost

Don't get me wrong - this is no longer about you. With you I've made my peace - rather - am in the process of regaining my sense of balance (you did sweep me off my feet - in the beginning and at the end!). About you, I've realized that it is indeed better to have loved and lost as opposed to having never loved at all ; someday, I hope I will believe that it was actually better for me to have loved and lost (you), that to have kept loving !

So you see, this is really no more about you.

No. This is about the ones that I never loved at all - because I was busy loving you. The men who were scarce spared a glance because I was too caught up in you. The ones who glanced and smiled but received only a frown and a distracted look because I was lost in thoughts of you. This is about the ones who had live with being 'just friends' because they were constantly reminded that I was 'off limits' - who knew I would lay my head on their shoulder only to sob my heart out whenever you so chose to break it - they consoled themselves with the thought that it was better to be my buddy and know me than to have never known me at all (and I know this because they told me - in as many words!). The ones who have swallowed pain and utter misery because unknowingly, unthinkingly, I broke their heart over yours.

This is about the one man who's heart is still broken.

They were my Opportunity Cost - my next best alternative foregone - because I chose you. I do not regret choosing you (mostly) - but - yeah, the loss of my OC hurts. Because some of them really were amazing people - and most of them will never come back.

So these days when I think of us and where we are today, my sorrow has more to do with my losing out on fantastic opportunities and very little to do with losing you. For losing you is a loss I can bear...